Relationship Counselling in Plymouth From Horizon Counselling Services
All relationships hit a rocky patch at some point. However, the seriousness of the issue varies on the couple and the situation. Here at Horizon, relationship counselling in Plymouth and the South West and helping couples is where we excel. We can offer you advice and an open mind for relationship counselling in Plymouth and the South West.
Relationship counselling is the attempt to improve romantic relationships and resolve conflicts. It offers a couple the time to reflect on the past in a hope of coming to an agreement of what the future may look like for both of them.
Before the 1980’s the success rate for relationship counselling was 50/50 but in recent years the rate has dramatically increased. Psychology Today and Open Counselling both state that relationship counselling has a 70-80% success rate, so this is encouraging if you are seeking relationship counselling.
What’s your Relationship Goal?
In the first sessions of relationship counselling, we’ll determine what you want to achieve. Is there a specific endpoint that either of you want to get to, or do you want to resolve lots of little issues that have all built up over the cause of the relationship? Everyone starts a new chapter of their life with a goal, what is the goal for your relationship? If it’s to have a loving, committed relationship, it can be easy to visualise what this would look like, but with most scenarios in real life, it’s never that easy. However, you may know some couples that you look to for inspiration of how you want your relationship to be. Many long lasting relationships are a result of continual gratitude and appreciation for the other person. Please take a look at our therapists page.
In healthy relationships, people tend to focus on the positive qualities of the other person, as opposed to the flaws. Instead of focusing on their snoring, focus on their love for you and their dedication to their family. Relationships are about counting your blessings and working through the negatives. At Horizon Counselling, we can help you work through these issues and remind you of your love for each other.
What do healthy relationships look like?
It used to be unusual to see a relationship, or more particularly a marriage, breakdown, but in a recent study, 2000 couples were surveyed and only 38% said they had a happy marriage, so what constitutes a happy marriage? Many factors are involved, the main one being love, but also commitment, trust, attention, good communication, tolerance, patience, openness, generosity and the list goes on. Healthy relationships are seen where couples face everything as a team, where you’re not pitched against each other, but rather it’s the two of you versus the problem. Where you’re still having fun and acting young after multiple decades together. Healthy relationships are where you’re happy with what you have, rather than wishing for it to be some other way.
Reasons to go to relationship counselling
Couples go to counselling for a range of reasons, with the top reasons being to do with trust and communication. Or lack of.
As soon as you stop talking to each other, and start to hold secrets, then everything else starts failing. With less communication, you will start to feel less understood and conflict and arguments are likely to become more frequent. This was proven through psychological researcher John Gottman’s research, where he researched key factors that played a part in a couple’s divorce. His research was so thorough that he could predict if a couple was going to divorce with an average of over 90% accuracy. His first discovery was that 69% of relationship problems never get resolved, due to the differences between the couple. This shows how communication is needed and when you can’t resolve an issue on your own, our counsellors at Horizon Counselling Services can give you the skills and advice for resolving current conflicts and future ones.
With lack of communication, also comes lack of trust. When you stop sharing, the other person will begin to lose their trust in you. This could stem from something in the past, such as infidelity or deception involving or it could just be that your partner is skeptical of what is happening in your relationship. Counselling can offer both parties a safe space where you can reveal your feelings and reasons behind certain actions, as well as allowing the counsellor the opportunity to offer advice for how to rebuild that foundation of trust and rediscover what you loved about your partner when you first met.
For couples, counselling is often seen as a solution to a problem, and while that can be the case, it’s not always. Just like counselling for individuals, counselling can be used to identify as well as solve underlying problems. Sometimes, you reach the point where you know something isn’t right, but you can’t identify what has changed in your relationship. This can be the early signs of a relationship becoming unhealthy or dysfunctional, and it’s worth seeing a counsellor in order to resolve issues before they reach the point of no return.
Benefits of relationship counselling in Plymouth from Horizon
Most couples leave their first relationship counselling session seeing the benefits of continuing. Some of the benefits are:
- Improved communication, honesty and trust
- Learning acceptance and forgiveness
- Deeper connection and renewed intimacy
- Re-negotiating commitments and making decisions.
- Understanding how to resolve conflicts in a healthy manner
- The development of communication skills that will foster an ongoing healthy relationship
- Learning how to be assertive without being offensive
- Learning how to express needs without resentment or anger
- Processing and working through unresolved issues, as the therapeutic environment allows the couple to express their feelings in a safe environment
- A clearer and deeper understanding of oneself and of one’s partner
- The ability to address and work through a crisis (this could be the death of a next of kin, for example)
Celebrities and Relationship Counselling
Even celebrities seek out relationship counselling. One of which is Kristen Bell (who played Anna in Frozen), who told Insider magazine “We both take responsibility when we are wrong, and I think it is easy to work with him because I married him, because I enjoy spending time with him and I trust him”. Other celebrities who are advocates of relationship counselling are: Pink & Carey Hart, Patrick Dempsey & Jillian Fink and Bryan Cranston & Robin Dearden.
Relationship Counselling Plymouth – How We Can Help At Horizon Counselling
At Horizon Counselling Services, the main aim we have for relationship counselling is for you to be able to:
- Understand how external factors such as family values, religion, lifestyle and culture affect your relationship.
- Reflect on the past and how it operates in the present.
- Communicate in a more constructive way.
- Learn why arguments escalate.
- Negotiate and resolve conflicts where possible.
As your counselling sessions develop, you may find ways to overcome the problems or you may realise it’s time for you to part ways. Either way, counselling offers you the space to grow and develop and decide what you want the relationship to look like in the future. We help by offering a space where each person has the right to be heard, listened to, respected and the right to explore themselves and delve into what’s important for them in the future.
How To Choose A Relationship Therapist
With so many therapists and different forms of therapy, it can be difficult to understand what would best suit you, because as well as the wide choice, the chances you are looking for counsellor while in a low spot in your life and so don’t feel like you have the mental capacity to trawl through loads of pages of counsellors.
The port of call is to find a counsellor that is based near where you live. Even though the pandemic has led to many sectors, including counselling, increasing their online presence, it’s always easier to speak to someone when you are in the same room. It’s easier to read body language and facial expressions when everything is happening in real time.
Once you have found a local directory or counselling clinic, set aside some time to search up therapists, and find out a bit about them, what their specialism is, what their past experience is etc. Be confident in what you want, or issues you would like to resolve, it doesn’t need to be detailed, that’s what the counsellor is for! The umbrella term ‘counselling’ encompasses multiple different approaches, so take some time to get an overview of what each approach involved and how some may be more useful to you compared to others.
Once you think you may have found someone who can help you, set up an initial consultation where you can find out a bit more about them and their way of approaching relationship counselling. Don’t forget, just because you have an initial consultation doesn’t mean you have to stay with that counsellor long term, meet with a couple of different ones to get the lay of the land and get a feel for what you like and don’t like. And because you’ll be using them for relationship counselling, ensure your partner also agrees with the therapist you choose.
One of our therapists here at Horizon Counselling Services that deals with relationship counselling is Alan, who is a fully qualified Counsellor, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist. One of his specialist counselling services is relationship counselling. In his own words: “I support individuals and families to understand the impacts of their mental health and wellbeing and help provide the tools they need to improve how they think and feel.” During the sessions, Alan uses his theoretical knowledge and the latest research to explain in everyday wording what is happening in the brain. He then focuses on challenging his clients’ thought processes in order to help them adapt to their circumstances by offering skills and strategies to help them adapt easier.
Relationship Counselling in Plymouth – Questions
A common question we are asked is, “Will my counselling sessions be confidential?”. In most cases, YES because confidentiality is an important part of building a trusting relationship with your counsellor. On the other hand, there are situations when confidentiality can’t be kept, for example if your counsellor is concerned that you’re at risk of harming either yourself or others, then they will have to involve someone else. In these cases, our counsellors will always tell you before they involve someone.
Another question that we get asked is “Does asking for counselling mean we’re accepting defeat?”. Absolutely not! Just because you’re going to counselling doesn’t mean this is the end of the road. As we’ve pointed out earlier in this article, multiple celebrity couples also attend relationship counselling in order to ensure they are continually on the same page and don’t drift apart. Counselling is about working through your problems in order for your relationship to come out stronger and survive for decades to come. In many situations, it’s about starting your relationship anew and relearning what’s important for you and your partner.
If you are seeking relationship counselling in Plymouth then book your initial consultation today by calling us on 01752 221 119 or clicking here <<book now>>