How to Talk to Children About a Relationship Breakdown
A relationship breakdown is a deeply emotional and challenging experience, and when children are involved, it becomes even more delicate. For children, the stability and routine of family life provide a sense of safety, and any disruption to this foundation can be unsettling. As parents navigate their own feelings, it’s essential to approach this situation with care, ensuring that children feel supported, reassured, and included in the process.
Children process changes differently depending on their age, personality, and understanding of relationships. A breakdown can trigger feelings of confusion, sadness, anger, or guilt. They may mistakenly believe they are to blame. Some worry about losing a parent, while others fear changes in daily life. Acknowledging these emotions is crucial.
Make Sure You Are Prepared
Before discussing the breakdown, parents should prepare emotionally. Presenting a united front, where possible, and agreeing on a consistent message helps minimise confusion. Choose a quiet time and setting, where children can feel secure. Tailor the conversation to their age, offering honesty without overloading them with details. Reassure them that they are not to blame and that they remain loved and supported by both parents.
Stability = Security
After this initial conversation, the real work begins in supporting children through the transition. Stability helps children feel secure, so maintaining routines such as bedtime, meals, and school drop-offs can be grounding. Children need space to express their feelings without fear. Encourage open dialogue, reminding them they can talk anytime.
No Negative Talk
It’s vital to avoid criticising the other parent in front of the children. They should not feel caught in the middle or forced to take sides. Negative talk can lead to stress, confusion, and emotional harm. Also, avoid using children as messengers. This places undue responsibility on them and creates further anxiety.
How Counselling Can Help
Counselling can be extremely beneficial for families during this time. Professional support can offer coping tools and guidance for both parents and children. The NHS offers advice on supporting children through divorce and separation.
At Horizon Counselling, we provide a safe, confidential environment to explore these challenges. Our counsellors work with families to build effective communication and support children’s emotional wellbeing. Call us today on 01752 221119 or email info@horizonplymouth.co.uk to book your discuss a relationship breakdown to children counselling in Plymouth.
Testimonial:
“I was worried about how our separation would affect our children. With the help of Horizon Counselling, we learned how to talk to them honestly and supportively. The difference it made to our family was remarkable.”
Q&A:
Q: Should both parents be present during the conversation with children?
A: Ideally, yes, if the relationship allows. A joint conversation reinforces consistency and reduces confusion. If this is not possible, ensure both parents echo similar messages.
Q: What signs indicate a child is not coping well?
A: Changes in behaviour, withdrawal, difficulty sleeping, or sudden academic struggles can be signs. If these persist, seeking professional support is recommended.
Moving forward, parents should continue providing reassurance. Celebrate small moments of connection and reinforce that change doesn’t mean the end of family love. By demonstrating emotional resilience and encouraging openness, parents help children process the experience more healthily.
At Horizon Counselling, we understand every family is unique. Our support is tailored to help each member navigate emotional changes at their own pace. If you or your family are facing a relationship breakdown and need guidance, get in touch with us for a confidential consultation.
Author Bio:
Stacey Morrish is a qualified counsellor at Horizon Counselling with extensive experience supporting families, children, and individuals through life transitions. Her warm and practical approach helps clients feel heard and supported during challenging times.