The Hidden Cost of Always Saying “I’m Fine”
In a world where we’re constantly asked how we’re doing, the default response “I’m fine” has become almost automatic. But beneath those two simple words, many people are silently carrying anxiety, burnout, sadness, or emotional distress. Learn how emotional suppression can impact your health and how counselling can help.
Pretending everything is okay may seem harmless or even polite, but suppressing emotions over time can have a significant toll on your mental health. At Horizon Counselling Services, we work with many individuals who have said “I’m fine” for far too long. In this article, we explore the hidden cost of this emotional masking, and why seeking support can be one of the healthiest decisions you’ll ever make.
Why Do People Say “I’m Fine”?
People hide how they truly feel for many reasons, often rooted in fear or self-protection:
- Avoiding judgement: Many worry they’ll be seen as weak or incapable if they admit they’re struggling.
- Not wanting to burden others: Saying “I’m fine” feels easier than explaining what’s really going on.
- Fear of vulnerability: Opening up about our emotions can feel exposing or even unsafe.
- Pressure to stay strong: This is especially true for parents, carers, or professionals who feel they need to “hold it all together.”
But constantly bottling up emotions isn’t a sustainable coping mechanism. Over time, it can lead to emotional exhaustion and even physical health issues.
The Mental Health Toll of Bottling Emotions
While masking your true feelings may keep things peaceful on the surface, the long-term cost can be damaging. Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not can lead to:
- Chronic stress
- Anxiety and depression
- Disconnection from others
- Burnout
According to the NHS, long-term stress and emotional suppression can increase the risk of anxiety disorders and lower overall emotional resilience.
Real Talk: It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
At Horizon Counselling Services, we encourage clients to practise emotional honesty. That doesn’t mean sharing everything with everyone, but it does mean recognising when you need support and knowing who to turn to.
Signs You May Be Saying “I’m Fine” Too Often
- You feel emotionally exhausted but can’t explain why
- You experience unexplained physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, or insomnia
- You avoid emotional conversations or shut down when asked how you’re doing
- You feel alone even when surrounded by others
- You have intense emotional outbursts after small triggers
The Role of Individual Counselling
Talking therapies, including Individual Counselling in Plymouth, provide a safe and confidential space where you don’t have to pretend. A trained therapist helps you explore what’s beneath the surface, develop emotional awareness, and build coping strategies.
Q&A: Common Questions About Emotional Suppression
Q: Is it normal to say “I’m fine” even when I’m not?
A: Yes, it’s very common, especially in British culture where emotional restraint is often seen as polite. But over time, this habit can prevent you from getting the help you need.
Q: How do I start opening up if I’ve always kept things inside?
A: Start small. Begin by acknowledging your feelings privately through journaling or internal reflection. Then, consider talking to a trusted friend or professional.
Q: Will counselling make me dwell on the past?
A: Counselling helps you understand the past, but its main goal is to help you move forward. You’ll work on building awareness, tools, and strategies for a healthier future.
Take the First Step with Horizon Counselling
If you’ve been telling the world “I’m fine” while struggling inside, now is the time to break the cycle. At Horizon Counselling Services, we offer appointments within just 7 days. Contact us today to book an appointment.
About the Author
Alan Stokes is a qualified counsellor and director of Horizon Counselling Services in Plymouth. With over 15 years of experience, he specialises in helping individuals work through anxiety, low self-esteem, trauma, and emotional overwhelm. Alan is passionate about creating a safe space for people to be heard without judgement and regain control of their emotional health.